We’re beginning something new with this series.  You can now download the message slides in PDF format by clicking Positioned for Growth-2.  This gives you the scriptures and quotes from each message.  The podcast of the message is always available on iTunes, or by clicking here.

Today we dug into the next three principles of personal growth:

1- Understanding the dynamics of risk vs. gambling

2- Watching others who have character strength- they are growing, learn from them!

3- Setting up templates for growth

I’ve found that there’s fun growth and painful growth.  Both are necessary.  Fun growth is by choice- you take something you’re good at and you learn more and increase.  It can be in any area of life, but it’s usually non-essential.  Painful growth happens when you realize that something REALLY IMPORTANT is at risk in your life, your marriage, job, relationship with your kids, and if you don’t grow- you may lose that essential thing in your life.  Then growth is scary, painful and really stretches us.  Many people avoid this kind of growth; they veer away from it throughout life, then they wonder why the bigger opportunities go to others.  Or they sit and grieve when they’ve lost some huge component of their lives, and figure it must be everyone else’s fault.

“Risk taking is an important dynamic to growth.  It means that someone is putting himself in a position of exposure, where he can be hurt.  But, that is really just a synonym for being alive.  It is risky to drive down the freeway, in that definition.  But, if you are going to function, you have to do it.  You have to get out there to get somewhere.

People who grow are not afraid of getting out there.  But they are not stupid, and they risk in increments.  They start small, master that, and move to the next step.  As they do, they have grown.

To do that requires that their character has the necessary resources to withstand the possible negative outcome.  If it doesn’t, the risk was not an integrated risk.  It was a wish, not an investment.  If someone cannot withstand the negative outcome, then it was not the kind of character investment that leads to growth.”    Dr. Henry Cloud, “Integrity”  p. 219

Growth requires risk.  To grow, you must take the step to the next level past where you are comfortable.  But risk that creates growth is the kind that is a natural expression of what someone has already become, not some foolish leap into oblivion.  That is a roll of the dice and more akin to a gamble than a risk.

Meditation questions:

1-    In my life, where have I grown in fun and painful areas?  Do I pay attention to both?

2-    Where is my growth-risk zone?  Am I pouring energy into these areas?

3-    Who are the people in my life who I’ve invited to help me grow?

4-    Am I submitting myself to structures for growth?  Am I avoiding this commitment?  Is it hurting my growth process?

Leave comments- I’d love to hear your thoughts!

-Don Riling

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We’re beginning something new with this series.  You can now download the message slides in PDF format by clicking Positioned for Growth-1.  This gives you the scriptures and quotes from each message.

The podcast of the message is always available on iTunes, or by clicking here. (the podcasts are normally posted by Sunday evening of the same day.)

“Character: the ability to meet the demands of reality.”  This is a quote from Dr. Henry Cloud’s new book: Integrity.  Many of the quotes and support materials in this message series are directly from Dr. Cloud’s book and support materials.  I hope it challenges you as much as it has me!

The problem is that we can try to make life and a career work, but without ever paying attention to the very thing that is going to make it work: our own character growth. Who we are dictates what we will be able to accomplish, and to try to accomplish anything without focusing on becoming the best person we can be will be futile in the end. We will always be propelled, or limited by our character strengths and/or weaknesses.

Jesus said it this way:

“A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.” (Matthew 7:18)

The tree is our character, and the fruit is the result of whatever we are trying to do. If our character is whole and solid, i.e. good, then we will produce good fruit. If someone is loving, for example, they will produce a loving marriage. If they are good to others, they will produce loyal customers and employees. A good, loving, person cannot be any other way over time. While everyone has their moments, the overall “wake” of the person’s life will produce a certain kind of fruit.

Likewise, if the tree, someone’s character, is selfish, the fruit left behind will be a lot of people who feel used and probably not a lot of love built. The tree always dictates the fruit.

The human temptation is therefore to just “go be loving.” But, if someone is not a loving person, we have all seen that fail. The couple who always argues make a new promise to be kind to one another, and they do so, for about a day. Then, when one of them does something the other does not like, the old patterns emerge. They are back to their old tricks. Why? Because they did not work on the tree, their character, and the tree will always produce its fruit.

It is like the person who says they are going to reach certain goals, and be self-disciplined where they never have been. So, they make New Year’s resolutions. But, after a few weeks, they are back to their old ways. The reason? They focused on the result instead of focusing on changing their character makeup, becoming a new person from the inside out.

Another example of the way the Bible puts this is in Proverbs:

Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

In other words, the problems or issues that we find ourselves encountering every day come out of who we are. The New International Version Bible calls it the “wellspring” of life. The Hebrew word means “outgoings.” Indeed, we are the author of a lot of the problems, or successes that we find ourselves in.

The takeaway:

If we want to make our careers work, focus on our character strengths and weaknesses as much as we do our skills or knowledge base. For example, if we are not disciplined, or if we are impulsive, or easily discouraged, or afraid of failure, we must work on those issues first before we can ever succeed.

If we want to make our relationships work, focus on our character makeup as much as we focus on the relationship. If we are selfish, or full of bitterness, or controlling, for example, we have to face those issues before things are going to work.

Questions to meditate on:

1-     Do I love to grow?  Is it a normal part of my life?

2-     Where have I grown in the last 3 months?  How am I investing energy into growing?

3-     What areas am I avoiding because they are so hard or I have repeated failures?

4-     Do I have the courage to ask my trusted friends to give me honest feedback about my growth zones?

Please leave your comments below if these study notes are helpful to you!

-Don Riling       Lead Pastor-Mosaic Church

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Today we finish the Father Heart of God series, with two last segments: “Thinking God’s Thoughts” and “Making it Last”.  In reality, we’ve barely scratched the surface of understanding his love—it’s a big topic!

Here’s the reality:  you can be sitting in front of the most nutritious, most delicious buffet in the whole world, but if you don’t eat from it, everday, you’ll starve to death.  Jesus agreed that there’s another nutrition source that most people don’t access:

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” ¹

This tells us that there is spiritual nourishment that only comes from God’s heart as we get to know Him, as we learn the scripture and meditate in it.  We consciously ask God to open it to our hearts and minds.

Jesus also said: “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.” ²

Meditate on these questions this week:

Do I rely on God’s word to guide me?

Do I really trust Him to guide my life through His word?

Am I making it a priority to listen to eat a steady spiritual diet, or do I allow everything else to be higher on my activity list?

Are the busy items and entertainment in my life really filling my soul and drawing me closer to God’s Father Heart?

What practical things can I adjust so that reading, studying and meditating daily becomes a normal rhythm of life?

If you’re really hungry to discover His love for you, you can pray this prayer:  “Father, I want to know the depths of your love for me.  I don’t want to live on second-hand information about you, I want to read it in the scripture and have you illuminate my heart and mind with your amazing love.  I ask you to reveal yourself and your love to me, to teach me your ways. I ask for these things in Christ’s name, who made this all possible.  Amen.”

Please take a minute and leave us a comment or question below.

In His Amazing Love,    Don Riling      (lead pastor, Mosaic Church)

¹ Matthew 4:4

² Matthew 22:29

Did you know there are some fantastic scripture reading and study tools online? Here’s one: http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/

Verses from this week:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,“ declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

“Then you will know the truth,
and the truth will set you free.“  Mark 8:32

“I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.

“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.              Jesus, in John 15:9-11

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.   Romans 12:2

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.       Philippians 4:8

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  -Jesus   in Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace…” Matthew 11:28  (The Message)

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;  I will not forsake them.         Isaiah 42:16

“…so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”    Ephesians 3:17-19

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There is something so potent about God’s Father Heart, a love so powerful that it can penetrate into our deepest needs.  Paul describes it in his letter to the church in Ephesus:

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19

Take time today or this week to meditate on that verse.

- Are you rooted and established in His love?

- Have you had times where you’ve been shocked by how wide and long and high and deep it is towards you?

If you missed it, be sure to go back and read the last blog post- there’s a great segment on helping our hearts to heal with some practical tools.

You can listen to this week’s message here:

http://www.mosaicrochester.com/podcast/media/20100207.mp3

After you’ve listened to the message on “how to receive God’s love into your soul”, here are some thoughts for meditation:

1- Am I being honest with myself about my spiritual intake?  Is all the free time in my life about my entertainment?

2- Am I intentionally making time to meditate in scripture, to hold God’s words of love to me in my mind, so they can saturate my heart?

1-     Do I have the courage to face the negative zones in my life: appetites, destructive habits, emotional patterns that are bringing me down?

2-     Have I invited Jesus, the living heart-healer into those broken areas within me?

Verses from 2.7.10 message:  Psalm 139: 6,16-17,  Psalm 136:1, Exodus 34:6-7, Song of Solomon 1:4, Ps. 103:11-14,  Romans 8:15

Leave me your comments and feedback below so I know if these posts are a help to you.

En Cristo,

Don Riling               Mosaic Church

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We had a lot of fun during the message Sunday.  Forgiveness is a tough topic, so I thought it would be healthy to break up the intensity with a little laughter.  I asked everyone to text me the single thing that bugs them the most about other drivers and their rotten habits, then I shared the responses live as they arrived on my iphone. Everyone agreed that it’s better we don’t carry shotguns in our cars…for those ‘on-the-edge-of-road-rage’ moments!  Here are some of the responses:

“When they cross over into your lane without looking…And they are RIGHT next to you…”

“Driving down the middle of a two lane road”

“People who pass you and glare.  You stay in cruise control, then you pass them.  They roar past, glaring.  repeat…repeat…repeat.”

“When they drive like Dave W…”  (big laughter- I used the full name during the message)

Dave W wrote: “I get mad when someone else doesn’t drive the way I would–because I always drive perfectly!” (he added smiley face)

“Talking or texting and drifting into my lane…tailgating in bad conditions.”

“My gun shoots prayer bullets!”  (his wife later said he was full of it.)

“When they won’t move over to let me merge onto Rt. 490!”

My two favorites were from my son Brent, who is a college student at Roberts Weslyan:

“when they pull in front of me without a signal and slow down, then don’t let you pass them”

“When my dad tells me not to tell mom when he gets angry at bad drivers.”  Hilarious!  (and painful.)

The reality is that forgiveness is needed everyday, including on the highway.  But there are also bigger, sometimes horrible wounds that need a special level of forgiveness.

How do you respond, and possibly forgive, when the issue is so huge that you can’t move forward in life?  Ed Keegan sent me these notes that have been a great help to him:

Brennan Manning Exercise for Rich Mullins:
(From the foreword by Brennan Manning , p. x, in Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven, by James Bryan Smith)
“Seven months before he died, I guided Rich on a three-day silent retreat at Chateau Vineyard, a resort sixty miles north of Atlanta. He was in a state of emotional turmoil because of unresolved issues with his family of origin, specifically his father. Like Henry Nouwen’s dad, John Mullins loved his son but never told him so. He was truly proud of Rich’s accomplishments, shared his deep affection for him with other members of the family but failed to communicate his feelings to the one person who longed for his love.
The two of us bonded here because my experience with my father matched his. When a father’s love is withheld, a child will struggle with issues ranging from shyness and insecurity to a profound and crippling shame over his very existence. As Dennis Lynn notes, ‘As an adult, he or she may find it hard to accept compliments and attention and may even feel like hiding. Often such a person, no matter how conscientious and successful, will feel like a fraud and fear being found out. Or, on the other hand, a person whose (father) was not happy to discover him or her may compulsively seek compliments and attention throughout life without knowing why.’
During the retreat I asked Rich to write a letter to his deceased father. The next day I asked him to write a letter from his father to him. Rich resided in the chalet next to mine. As he wrote I heard sobbing and wailing so loud that I started crying myself. All John Mullin’s pent up affection exploded and came cascading into Rich’s heart like a torrent of truth and love. Soon after, Rich came to my place and read the letter, tears streaming down his face.
Next I asked Rich to write a letter to Abba followed by a letter from Abba to him. I shall never forget our festive dinner on the last night of the retreat. His black eyes shining like onyx and his face creased in a radiant smile, he said simply, ‘Brennan, I’m free.’”

Scriptures from Father Heart part 4:

Matthew 6:12-15, Micah 6:8, 1 John 1:8-10, Psalm 51 (whole chapter)

Matthew 18:21-22 tells of a conversation with Jesus about how many times we should forgive someone.  This is a good one to meditate on.

What’s the difference between conviction (something we need forgiveness for and our heart knows it) and condemnation (on-going guilt that is not from God)?

Floyd McClung shares this list:

Conviction is when God wants to show us something that is separating us from Him.

Conviction is clear, specific, and from God.

Condemnation is when we have a sense of failure that won’t leave.

Condemnation is vague, general and from ourselves or the evil one.

I pray that this series is bringing you life, helping you grasp how much God loves you!

-Don Riling,  (lead pastor, Mosaic)

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