Dear Mosaic family and friends,

Most of you are aware that my brother Darrell passed away on June 30, 2010.  He was only 43 years old and fought a hard 2.5 year battle against Multiple Myeloma, a cancer that hollowed out his bones and thickened his blood like motor oil.  Darrell left a beautiful wife Patty, his three kids from his first marriage, and a step-son Matthew.

It’s difficult to explain the last two weeks of his life.  He had a heart attack, then severe lung complications, followed by an infection that finally won the last battle.  His wife Patty and her family were amazing- by his side every day throughout this ordeal.  I was grateful to be able to put my life on hold for his last two weeks (mostly) and spend nearly every day with him and supporting Patty.  We all sensed that the end was near, and we treasured every day we had together.  On many days my youngest brother was lucid and responsive, telling people he loved them and trying to smile.  As his time wound down, he only woke up for 5-10 seconds at a time, and would respond to certain people like his kids and his new 10 month-old grandson Carson.  On one memorable day, Darrell hadn’t been responding all day, until Justin his son put Carson on the bed.  Darrell’s eyes popped open, he said, “Hey Buddy!” and tried to reach his arms to hug him.  A few seconds later he was blowing kisses to him through the oxygen mask as he slipped back to sleep.  We all wept–such expressions of tender love are hard to describe with these feeble words.

At the end, Darrell left many “final gifts.”  He realized he wasn’t winning the battle, and began thanking the people who came to visit him, making eye contact with dear friends and mouthing the words, “I love you.”  I treasured the chance to just lay my head next to his one quiet night at the hospital and hold him in my arms while I breathed with him and prayed.  I could feel his heart under my arm, bravely pumping away, still fighting the battle of infection and cancer.  That’s the image I’ll hold in my heart.  He knew I was there; I was grateful for the chance to hold my little brother in such a scary and painful battle.  We all felt so helpless; the one thing we offered was to stay near and provide the comfort of loving arms and soothing words.  In the last 48 hours Patty asked me to play the song for him, “I can only Imagine” by Mercy Me.  She explained that Darrell loved the song and they had played it daily for months.

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in honor of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

In the end Darrell was ready.  He mouthed the words “Happy Birthday” to my dad, “I love you” to my mom, then “I love you” to his beloved Patty as he looked in her eyes.  She held him close and told him it was okay to leave when he was ready.  He took a few breaths and was gone.

Thank you little brother for all that you taught me.  I grieve every day for you, for your lovely wife, for your kids.  May my life be lived with the courage and conviction that you demonstrated.  I miss you very much.

until I see you again,  your brother,

Don

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