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Losing my brother

Dear Mosaic family and friends,

Most of you are aware that my brother Darrell passed away on June 30, 2010.  He was only 43 years old and fought a hard 2.5 year battle against Multiple Myeloma, a cancer that hollowed out his bones and thickened his blood like motor oil.  Darrell left a beautiful wife Patty, his three kids from his first marriage, and a step-son Matthew.

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It’s difficult to explain the last two weeks of his life.  He had a heart attack, then severe lung complications, followed by an infection that finally won the last battle.  His wife Patty and her family were amazing- by his side every day throughout this ordeal.  I was grateful to be able to put my life on hold for his last two weeks (mostly) and spend nearly every day with him and supporting Patty.  We all sensed that the end was near, and we treasured every day we had together.  On many days my youngest brother was lucid and responsive, telling people he loved them and trying to smile.  As his time wound down, he only woke up for 5-10 seconds at a time, and would respond to certain people like his kids and his new 10 month-old grandson Carson.  On one memorable day, Darrell hadn’t been responding all day, until Justin his son put Carson on the bed.  Darrell’s eyes popped open, he said, “Hey Buddy!” and tried to reach his arms to hug him.  A few seconds later he was blowing kisses to him through the oxygen mask as he slipped back to sleep.  We all wept–such expressions of tender love are hard to describe with these feeble words.

At the end, Darrell left many “final gifts.”  He realized he wasn’t winning the battle, and began thanking the people who came to visit him, making eye contact with dear friends and mouthing the words, “I love you.”  I treasured the chance to just lay my head next to his one quiet night at the hospital and hold him in my arms while I breathed with him and prayed.  I could feel his heart under my arm, bravely pumping away, still fighting the battle of infection and cancer.  That’s the image I’ll hold in my heart.  He knew I was there; I was grateful for the chance to hold my little brother in such a scary and painful battle.  We all felt so helpless; the one thing we offered was to stay near and provide the comfort of loving arms and soothing words.  In the last 48 hours Patty asked me to play the song for him, “I can only Imagine” by Mercy Me.  She explained that Darrell loved the song and they had played it daily for months.

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in honor of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

In the end Darrell was ready.  He mouthed the words “Happy Birthday” to my dad, “I love you” to my mom, then “I love you” to his beloved Patty as he looked in her eyes.  She held him close and told him it was okay to leave when he was ready.  He took a few breaths and was gone.

Thank you little brother for all that you taught me.  I grieve every day for you, for your lovely wife, for your kids.  May my life be lived with the courage and conviction that you demonstrated.  I miss you very much.

until I see you again,  your brother,

Don

Vision Series 2010

We’re coming up on the third week of the vision series.  Thank you for all the helpful responses I’ve received.  This series in the book of Acts is resonating in many hearts and minds.

Is Mosaic your home church?  Please take the time to listen to the podcasts if you missed any of the messages.  You can also download the slides with scriptures and quotes by clicking Growing UP into our Destiny -1 5.23.10 for week 1 and Growing UP into our Destiny-2 5.30.10 for week 2.

(we had a tech difficulty for week 2 podcast- working on getting it fixed!)

The 2010 Vision Report for Mosaic members will be posted on the website by Wednesday June 2nd.  Please take time to read through the events of the last year and how God is directing us into the year ahead!

En Cristo-

(Pastor) Don Riling

What’s Easter Really About? Changed lives!

Easter2010We had two themes at Mosaic this morning.  The first is the stunning realization that Jesus is still raising people from the dead.  The second is that God went to elaborate lengths to communicate to us how much He loves us.  We started the new series:  “Is Faith Irrational?”

To examine the roots of the Christian faith, we have to start with the Bible, which is the gathered writings that point the way to God.  We have to begin with the hard questions:  Does the Bible really speak God’s heart and voice to us? Was it just men making things up that they wanted God to say?  Does it have the elements of divinity that reach beyond man’s control of the message?

Today we started with the first three questions:

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You can listen to the podcast by clicking here.

The full slides with quotes and scriptures: Is Faith Irrational-1.

If you’d like to dig into this material more deeply, here are some solid resources: (links to Amazon.com)

The New Evidence That Demands A Verdict Fully Updated To Answer The Questions Challenging Christians Today by Josh McDowell

More Than a Carpenter by Josh D. McDowell

A Ready Defense The Best Of Josh Mcdowell by Josh McDowell

The Case for a Creator: A Journalist Investigates Scientific Evidence That Points Toward God by Lee Strobel

The Case for the Real Jesus: A Journalist Investigates Current Attacks on the Identity of Christ by Lee Strobel

The Case for Christ & The Case for Faith (two books in one) by Lee Strobel

If you’re a sincere seeker, and you want to dig into the roots of what it means to be a Christ-follower, I highly recommend the books above.

What is Easter really about? God cared enough to send over 200 prophecies to this world, far in advance of the arrival of his son.  That has never happened before or since.  Jesus died for our sins so we could have new lives.  The same power that raised Christ from the dead is giving people new lives today.  That’s what we celebrate.

Our local paper, the Democrat and Chronicle posted these four stories of changed lives on Easter morning- a great read!

http://www.democratandchronicle.com/article/20100404/NEWS01/4040356/Four-lives-that-rose-from-ashes-of-an-old-self

Happy Easter!

-Don Riling

Positioned for Growth -4 Growing on many fronts!

Please note: the podcast for part 4 of this message will be available on Wednesday 3.31.10.  Thanks for your patience.  You can download the slides with scriptures and quotes by clicking Positioned for Growth-4 3.28.10.

Did you see the story last week on CNN about Angie Sanclemente?  She was a model in Columbia, South America and even won a prestigious beauty contest.  Then they found out that she lied about the contest- she’d been married before.  Her life went downhill—today she’s one of the kingpins of the largest drug networks in the world.  How did that happen?  She grew up in a poor neighborhood with dirt streets and crushing poverty.  She was smart and industrious, and promised herself she would never go back to her old neighborhood.  When she was given the opportunity to excel with her gifts, she chose to lie, cheat and eventually it caught up to her.  In desperation she turned to the drug dealers that hang around the modeling world.  She became a powerbroker in a trade that now forces her to live on the run as one of the most wanted criminals in the world.

Dr. Henry Cloud addresses this need for “foundations for life-long success” in his writings:

“Life will not work until we have the character to make it work, and we can only get that through spiritual growth doing it God’s way. Therefore, we have to commit to the process of growth instead of only committing to the desired result. That means we have to join the structures that will help us do that, like a small group, mentor, accountability relationship, etc. and get on the path of character change.”

Today we finished the “Postured for Growth” series with these final three principles:

  1.  Integrated characters understand the need for rest and are able to use it.
  2. Growing people are also invested in helping others to grow.
  3. The integrated character is growing in many areas of life–not just one.

Meditation questions:

1-    Do I rest well?  Do I take time to recuperate and prepare for the week ahead?  Is my rest level 1 (absence of work) or level 2 (disengaging, renewal, re-creation)?

2-    Who am I helping to grow?  In what areas are they focusing their energy?  How is it helping me in return?

3-    What are my growth fronts?  What is the connection of my various growth areas, how do they complement one another?

Growing is life.  We choose to allow Christ into the center of our values, choices, and plans.  Then He guides us to grow and heal, redeeming areas that are broken or immature.  He loves us too much to ignore lack of integration in our character!  Then He leads us into adventures that stretch us, help us to grow and teach us to embrace difficulty.  He leads us into lives of meaning and hope, for ourselves and others.

I’ll leave you with this quote by Donald Miller from his book,  A Million Miles in a Thousand Years:

“If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn’t cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers.  You wouldn’t tell your friends you saw a beautiful movie or go home and put a record on to think about the story you’d seen.  The truth is, you wouldn’t remember that movie a week later, except that you’d feel robbed and want your money back.  Nobody cries at the end of a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo.

But we spend years actually living those stories, and expect our lives to feel meaningful.  The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make a story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either.”

I’d love to hear your feedback on this series.  What principles hit home for you?

-Don Riling

Spring is here! Leadership training weekend @ Mosaic

leaders retreatWe’re taking a break today from the “Positioned for Growth” series.  Our guest speaker at Mosaic is Clark Barnard, director of the YWAM base in Iquitos, Peru.  Clark also taught Friday and Saturday at our annual leadership retreat.

The theme of the whole weekend is from the leadership principles of Ernest Shackleton, who led one of the most amazing rescues in history during an Antarctic polar expedition.  Thomas Pychon commented after studying Shackleton: “You wait- everyone has an Antarctic.”

It’s a painful truth about life. Despite meticulous planning and careful risk assessment, there will always be some life challenges that will push us to the limits of our character and skills to cope.  The key is to respond with a willingness to learn, and loads of courage.

leaders retreat 2Thank you to Clark Barnard for his investment in our leadership community this weekend. His messages are timely.  We’re focusing on our unique mission for the years ahead; we need the practical and timeless truths we’ve heard this weekend.

Next week we’ll finish the “Positioned for Growth” series.  Thank you to each of you who have sent feedback; I’m encouraged by the hunger for growth I’m witnessing.

Don Riling

Lead Pastor, Mosaic Church

Don’t forget: you can listen to Clark’s message at Mosaic today by clicking here or going to the podcast button on your right.  You can also subscribe to the weekly messages via Itunes podcasts.

Positioned for Growth-3 Trust Your Mentor 3.14.10

Positioned for GrowthWe’re beginning something new with this series.  You can now download the message slides in PDF format by clicking Positioned for Growth-3 3.14.10. This gives you the scriptures and quotes from each message.  The podcast of the message is always available on iTunes, or by clicking here.

This week we covered the next three principles (of 12) of growth by Dr. Henry Cloud:

7. People of mature character submit to mentors further down the road than themselves.

8. People of integrated character are able to balance enjoying the present with not wanting to stay there.

9. Mature people push themselves to do things they never have done before.

How does adversity help us grow through adversity?  John Ortberg shows us four ways in his book, “The Me I Want to Be.” (p.236-242)

1) “Rising to a challenge reveals abilities hidden within you (and beyond you!) that would otherwise have remained dormant.”

Example:  Joseph

“God wasn’t at work producing the circumstances Joseph wanted.  God was at work in bad circumstances producing the Joseph that God wanted.  God isn’t at work producing the circumstances you want.  God is at work in bad circumstances producing the you he wants.”

2)  “Adversity can deepen relationships.”

“Somehow suffering can soften a heart and deepen friendships in a unique way…

Loss is not simply something to be recovered from.  Hope does not mean returning to happiness as soon as possible.  God comes to us in our grief and shares it.  In that shared grief, we find love.  ‘Mourn with those who mourn,’ Paul says.  Love meets in shared suffering and broken souls like no other kind of love.”

3) “Adversity can change your priorities about what really matters.”

“It is as if in normal life we step onto a treadmill and begin running after something-money, security, or success-when adversity knocks us off.  Suffering enables us to see the folly of chasing after temporal gods, and when people suffer, they often resolve not to return to their old way of life when things normalize.  But the key to accomplishing that is taking action before normal life takes over again.  We have a finite window of time to make changes;  otherwise we will drift back to our old patterns.”

4) “Adversity points us to the Hope beyond ourselves.

“When circumstances look bleak, when the stock market is down, or when your morale is sinking or your assets are shrinking or your health is collapsing, you may wonder, Is anything going up?

Yes.

The chance to trust God when trusting isn’t easy is wide open.  The prospect for modeling hope for a hope-needy world is trending upward.  And the possibility of cultivating a storm-proof faith is always going up.  This is so because certain truths remain unchanged;  God remains sovereign, grace beats sin, prayers get heard, the Bible endures, heaven’s mercies spring up new every morning, the cross still testifies to the power of sacrificial love, the tomb is still empty, and the kingdom that Jesus announced is still expanding without needing to be bailed out with human efforts.

God is still in the business of redemption, specializing in bringing something very, very good out of something very, very bad.”

“We sometimes yearn for a problem-free life, but that would be death by boredom.  It is in working to solve problems and overcome challenges that we become the person God wants us to be.  Every problem is an invitation from the Spirit, and when we say yes, we are in the flow.

So don’t ask for comfort.  Don’t ask for ease.  Don’t ask for manageability.  Ask to be given a burden for a challenge bigger than yourself-one that can make a difference in the world, one that will require the best you have to give it and then leave some space for God besides.  Ask for a task that will keep you learning and growing and uncomfortable and hungry.”

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Ask yourself these questions.  Take some time and really think about them:

1-    Do I have mentors in my life?  Do I have the courage to submit to their input?

2-    Am I content with today, while hungry to grow tomorrow?

3-    Do I seek new experiences– that will help me grow and face my fears?

Thank you for all of the feedback.  It’s helpful to know so many people are digging into these principles.

-Don Riling

Positioned for Growth-2 2.28.10 Risking growth!

We’re beginning something new with this series.  You can now download the message slides in PDF format by clicking Positioned for Growth-2.  This gives you the scriptures and quotes from each message.  The podcast of the message is always available on iTunes, or by clicking here.

Today we dug into the next three principles of personal growth:

1- Understanding the dynamics of risk vs. gambling

2- Watching others who have character strength- they are growing, learn from them!

3- Setting up templates for growth

I’ve found that there’s fun growth and painful growth.  Both are necessary.  Fun growth is by choice- you take something you’re good at and you learn more and increase.  It can be in any area of life, but it’s usually non-essential.  Painful growth happens when you realize that something REALLY IMPORTANT is at risk in your life, your marriage, job, relationship with your kids, and if you don’t grow- you may lose that essential thing in your life.  Then growth is scary, painful and really stretches us.  Many people avoid this kind of growth; they veer away from it throughout life, then they wonder why the bigger opportunities go to others.  Or they sit and grieve when they’ve lost some huge component of their lives, and figure it must be everyone else’s fault.

“Risk taking is an important dynamic to growth.  It means that someone is putting himself in a position of exposure, where he can be hurt.  But, that is really just a synonym for being alive.  It is risky to drive down the freeway, in that definition.  But, if you are going to function, you have to do it.  You have to get out there to get somewhere.

People who grow are not afraid of getting out there.  But they are not stupid, and they risk in increments.  They start small, master that, and move to the next step.  As they do, they have grown.

To do that requires that their character has the necessary resources to withstand the possible negative outcome.  If it doesn’t, the risk was not an integrated risk.  It was a wish, not an investment.  If someone cannot withstand the negative outcome, then it was not the kind of character investment that leads to growth.”    Dr. Henry Cloud, “Integrity”  p. 219

Growth requires risk.  To grow, you must take the step to the next level past where you are comfortable.  But risk that creates growth is the kind that is a natural expression of what someone has already become, not some foolish leap into oblivion.  That is a roll of the dice and more akin to a gamble than a risk.

Meditation questions:

1-    In my life, where have I grown in fun and painful areas?  Do I pay attention to both?

2-    Where is my growth-risk zone?  Am I pouring energy into these areas?

3-    Who are the people in my life who I’ve invited to help me grow?

4-    Am I submitting myself to structures for growth?  Am I avoiding this commitment?  Is it hurting my growth process?

Leave comments- I’d love to hear your thoughts!

-Don Riling


Are you ready to grow? Positioned for Growth part 1

We’re beginning something new with this series.  You can now download the message slides in PDF format by clicking Positioned for Growth-1.  This gives you the scriptures and quotes from each message.

Positioned for Growth-1.001The podcast of the message is always available on iTunes, or by clicking here. (the podcasts are normally posted by Sunday evening of the same day.)

“Character: the ability to meet the demands of reality.”  This is a quote from Dr. Henry Cloud’s new book: Integrity.  Many of the quotes and support materials in this message series are directly from Dr. Cloud’s book and support materials.  I hope it challenges you as much as it has me!

The problem is that we can try to make life and a career work, but without ever paying attention to the very thing that is going to make it work: our own character growth. Who we are dictates what we will be able to accomplish, and to try to accomplish anything without focusing on becoming the best person we can be will be futile in the end. We will always be propelled, or limited by our character strengths and/or weaknesses.

Jesus said it this way:

“A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.” (Matthew 7:18)

The tree is our character, and the fruit is the result of whatever we are trying to do. If our character is whole and solid, i.e. good, then we will produce good fruit. If someone is loving, for example, they will produce a loving marriage. If they are good to others, they will produce loyal customers and employees. A good, loving, person cannot be any other way over time. While everyone has their moments, the overall “wake” of the person’s life will produce a certain kind of fruit.

Likewise, if the tree, someone’s character, is selfish, the fruit left behind will be a lot of people who feel used and probably not a lot of love built. The tree always dictates the fruit.

The human temptation is therefore to just “go be loving.” But, if someone is not a loving person, we have all seen that fail. The couple who always argues make a new promise to be kind to one another, and they do so, for about a day. Then, when one of them does something the other does not like, the old patterns emerge. They are back to their old tricks. Why? Because they did not work on the tree, their character, and the tree will always produce its fruit.

It is like the person who says they are going to reach certain goals, and be self-disciplined where they never have been. So, they make New Year’s resolutions. But, after a few weeks, they are back to their old ways. The reason? They focused on the result instead of focusing on changing their character makeup, becoming a new person from the inside out.

Another example of the way the Bible puts this is in Proverbs:

Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

In other words, the problems or issues that we find ourselves encountering every day come out of who we are. The New International Version Bible calls it the “wellspring” of life. The Hebrew word means “outgoings.” Indeed, we are the author of a lot of the problems, or successes that we find ourselves in.

The takeaway:

If we want to make our careers work, focus on our character strengths and weaknesses as much as we do our skills or knowledge base. For example, if we are not disciplined, or if we are impulsive, or easily discouraged, or afraid of failure, we must work on those issues first before we can ever succeed.

If we want to make our relationships work, focus on our character makeup as much as we focus on the relationship. If we are selfish, or full of bitterness, or controlling, for example, we have to face those issues before things are going to work.

Questions to meditate on:

1-     Do I love to grow?  Is it a normal part of my life?

2-     Where have I grown in the last 3 months?  How am I investing energy into growing?

3-     What areas am I avoiding because they are so hard or I have repeated failures?

4-     Do I have the courage to ask my trusted friends to give me honest feedback about my growth zones?

Please leave your comments below if these study notes are helpful to you!

-Don Riling       Lead Pastor-Mosaic Church

Father Heart of God-6: Nourishing Your Heart

dad-son-pocketsToday we finish the Father Heart of God series, with two last segments: “Thinking God’s Thoughts” and “Making it Last”.  In reality, we’ve barely scratched the surface of understanding his love—it’s a big topic!

Here’s the reality:  you can be sitting in front of the most nutritious, most delicious buffet in the whole world, but if you don’t eat from it, everday, you’ll starve to death.  Jesus agreed that there’s another nutrition source that most people don’t access:

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” 1

This tells us that there is spiritual nourishment that only comes from God’s heart as we get to know Him, as we learn the scripture and meditate in it.  We consciously ask God to open it to our hearts and minds.

Jesus also said: “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.” 2


Meditate on these questions this week:

Do I rely on God’s word to guide me?

Do I really trust Him to guide my life through His word?

Am I making it a priority to listen to eat a steady spiritual diet, or do I allow everything else to be higher on my activity list?

Are the busy items and entertainment in my life really filling my soul and drawing me closer to God’s Father Heart?

What practical things can I adjust so that reading, studying and meditating daily becomes a normal rhythm of life?

If you’re really hungry to discover His love for you, you can pray this prayer:  “Father, I want to know the depths of your love for me.  I don’t want to live on second-hand information about you, I want to read it in the scripture and have you illuminate my heart and mind with your amazing love.  I ask you to reveal yourself and your love to me, to teach me your ways. I ask for these things in Christ’s name, who made this all possible.  Amen.”

Please take a minute and leave us a comment or question below.

In His Amazing Love,    Don Riling      (lead pastor, Mosaic Church)

1 Matthew 4:4

2 Matthew 22:29

Did you know there are some fantastic scripture reading and study tools online? Here’s one: http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/

Verses from this week:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,“ declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

“Then you will know the truth,
and the truth will set you free.“  Mark 8:32

“I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.

“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.              Jesus, in John 15:9-11

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.   Romans 12:2

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.       Philippians 4:8


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  -Jesus   in Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace…” Matthew 11:28  (The Message)


I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;  I will not forsake them.         Isaiah 42:16

“…so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”    Ephesians 3:17-19

Father Heart of God-5: Receiving God’s Love

There is something so potent about God’s Father Heart, a love so powerful that it can penetrate into our deepest needs.  Paul describes it in his letter to the church in Ephesus:

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19

Take time today or this week to meditate on that verse.

- Are you rooted and established in His love?

- Have you had times where you’ve been shocked by how wide and long and high and deep it is towards you?

If you missed it, be sure to go back and read the last blog post- there’s a great segment on helping our hearts to heal with some practical tools.

You can listen to this week’s message here:

http://www.mosaicrochester.com/podcast/media/20100207.mp3

After you’ve listened to the message on “how to receive God’s love into your soul”, here are some thoughts for meditation:

1- Am I being honest with myself about my spiritual intake?  Is all the free time in my life about my entertainment?

2- Am I intentionally making time to meditate in scripture, to hold God’s words of love to me in my mind, so they can saturate my heart?

1-     Do I have the courage to face the negative zones in my life: appetites, destructive habits, emotional patterns that are bringing me down?

2-     Have I invited Jesus, the living heart-healer into those broken areas within me?

Verses from 2.7.10 message:  Psalm 139: 6,16-17,  Psalm 136:1, Exodus 34:6-7, Song of Solomon 1:4, Ps. 103:11-14,  Romans 8:15

Leave me your comments and feedback below so I know if these posts are a help to you.

En Cristo,

Don Riling               Mosaic Church

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